Something to do today & Friends

Well, I had an errand to run today and had to do it no matter how I felt.  My aunt was counting on me and I already rescheduled.  We were supposed to do it on Tuesday.  So I felt obligated to do it.  I hate having to cancel on people when I am not feeling well.  It’s so inconvenient for the other person.  They get up and get ready and then I call and cancel their plans.  I hate it.  I feel like such a loser.  But the pain and exhaustion gets the best of me and I can’t function.

A few weeks ago I had plans with a friend that I just reconnected with after not talking for years.  I felt completely awful and couldn’t function.  I woke up at 4 am in horrible pain.  So I took my meds and knew I had to be up at 8 am.  So I set my alarm and when I woke up, I still felt awful.  My entire body was in pain and the medication, Flexeril, wasn’t working at all.  But it makes me extremely loopy.  So I sent her a text message at 8 am to let her know that I wasn’t going to be able to make it.  I didn’t want to call because I didn’t want to wake her up.  WELLLLL, that wasn’t the case at all.  I woke up at noon too missed phone calls and tones of texts.  In my loopy state, I sent my aunt the text that I couldn’t make it for coffee (to which she replied to me that she had no clue what I was talking about).  And texts, phone calls, and voice mail from my friend wondering where the heck I was.  I would have been so upset with me if I were her.  And that’s the life of a Fibromyalgia Sufferer!  My life is one big mixed up mess.

I feel awful that my life consists of constantly cancelling on people.  And I don’t know if they really understand what I am going through or not.  But I have to look at it from their perspective thinking how annoying I must be to have in the family or be friends with.

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