Well, I had an errand to run today and had to do it no matter how I felt. My aunt was counting on me and I already rescheduled. We were supposed to do it on Tuesday. So I felt obligated to do it. I hate having to cancel on people when I am not feeling well. It’s so inconvenient for the other person. They get up and get ready and then I call and cancel their plans. I hate it. I feel like such a loser. But the pain and exhaustion gets the best of me and I can’t function.
A few weeks ago I had plans with a friend that I just reconnected with after not talking for years. I felt completely awful and couldn’t function. I woke up at 4 am in horrible pain. So I took my meds and knew I had to be up at 8 am. So I set my alarm and when I woke up, I still felt awful. My entire body was in pain and the medication, Flexeril, wasn’t working at all. But it makes me extremely loopy. So I sent her a text message at 8 am to let her know that I wasn’t going to be able to make it. I didn’t want to call because I didn’t want to wake her up. WELLLLL, that wasn’t the case at all. I woke up at noon too missed phone calls and tones of texts. In my loopy state, I sent my aunt the text that I couldn’t make it for coffee (to which she replied to me that she had no clue what I was talking about). And texts, phone calls, and voice mail from my friend wondering where the heck I was. I would have been so upset with me if I were her. And that’s the life of a Fibromyalgia Sufferer! My life is one big mixed up mess.
I feel awful that my life consists of constantly cancelling on people. And I don’t know if they really understand what I am going through or not. But I have to look at it from their perspective thinking how annoying I must be to have in the family or be friends with.
Fibromyalgia Sufferer Blog 