My Life’s Story, MEN, Part 2

So I came out of a drug induced coma, with no explanation as to why I was healing.  But I WAS!  I knew why.  It was by the grace of God and my angel.  I met up with her and her family.  We went to dinner several times.  She bought me the book, The Purpose Driven Life.

Well, I got out of the hospital and was doing well.  It was about 2 months after my surgery that I was able to drive.  I finally got my freedom back.  It was the best thing, or so I thought!

It was a night in October that I had made plans with I man I called a friend (who shall remain nameless) at the time.  I didn’t want to go out alone with him because I was dating someone else (or so I thought).  I convinced him to ask this man out.  Not a lot of people knew that the other guy and I were dating.  We believed in living our lives in privacy.  It’s not necessary that everyone knows the date and time you take a crap.  So there were about 5 of us that went out.  We were having a good time.  I had one beer and a shot at the bar.  I knew my tolerance was down because I was sick and in the hospital and I drove to the bar.  I needed to be careful.  I left my beer and went to the bathroom (ladies NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE DO THIS.  No matter how well you know someone).  I came back and finished my beer.  The last thing I remember is waking up in my bed in a complete fog and I couldn’t wake up.  I was fully dressed with my shoes by my bed.  My car was in the driveway and I have no idea how it got there.  I kept waking up and falling asleep.  I couldn’t snap out of it.  I was in a lot of pain.  I had bruising on my arms (thumb prints and hand prints) and up and down my thighs.  I couldn’t make sense of what had happened.  I called the guy I was seeing and he wouldn’t return my calls until I told him that I needed to find out what happened.  He told me what he heard and that he left the house (this guy’s house) that we were at.  He did nothing to try to protect me.  I would have never done this to a man I was dating.  Long story, short, my sexual assault counselor said I had symptoms of being drugged by this person and that it had to be pretty violent given the fact that the bruises were so bad.  You know the saying money talks and bullshit walks!  Well, I lived it.  The asshole cried to his parents, who hired a big shot lawyer and I had no money for a lawyer and had to represent myself.  The judge threw everything out and said there wasn’t enough evidence.  She wouldn’t even give me an order of protection.  So the poor person gets to live the rest of her life as a rape victim and the rapist gets to go free and live his life as if nothing happened.

It took me a long time to trust someone again.  A man who began pursuing me would never know how difficult I would be to catch!  LOL.  It took about 3 months of him talking to me for me to trust him.  I told him that I was scared because of what happened to me.  He told me he would protect me.  He was the sweetest man.  I felt safe in his arms.  It was on his 40th birthday that we had our first kiss.  I will never forget it.  I was so happy to be with him.  Until, that fateful day when my parents said they were moving to Florida and I had to go with them because I had nowhere to go.  So I signed up for every apartment in town.  I was on a bunch of waiting lists and told him that I would be visiting every 3 months until I got a place to live.  Then one awful day, he went to the ER because he was having pain in his stomach.  Come to find out he had esophagus cancer.  I came in to town to see him but he wouldn’t see me.  I don’t think he wanted me to see how bad he was.  But he had great family and friends to help him and take care of him.  I am so grateful to them for doing that.  He suffered for 5 months.  I felt so helpless.  But I know that he is in a better place and I will never forget his smile and eyes.  And he made me a better person and helped me heal in ways I would have never known.  I went back to Florida after the funeral.

4 months later, my best friend was killed in a tragic car accident.  It was horrible.  So back to Illinois I went for another funeral.  I was asked to speak at her funeral and it was an honor.

My life has not been fair to me and I don’t know if I will ever really pick up the pieces………….

TO BE CONTINUED…..

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