Well, yesterday was a REALLY bad day. The pain has been building up. The pain is in my thighs and arms. It would not go away with any of the medications I have. I have tried the Flexeril, Ibuprofen, Tramadol, and Vicodin. Nothing is touching the pain. It escalated to the point that I couldn’t even walk.
As a precaution I have all of my meds and a glass of water on my nightstand. I have basket of all of my meds. It’s kind of crazy, but I have to prepare for the worst. And the worst happened yesterday. The meds worked well enough to get me out of bed and up the stairs to eat breakfast and then up again at dinner time. But I just had my breakfast and dinner held until I could get out of bed.
I am very fortunate to be living with my parents, who help me out a lot. I try not to ask much of them. But they are kind enough to take my dog out and feed him in the morning. He’s an early riser and grandma takes him potty when she gets up for work. Then he likes to go in with Papa and have his cuddle time in the morning. It really helps me out. I can’t get out of bed before ten on most days. It’s not because I’m lazy, it’s because I am so very exhausted.
My mom and I are taking a class through a local medical facility. It’s a warm water arthritis class. It had to be okayed by our doctors. I’m hoping it helps both of us out. She had fibromyalgia too. I am looking forward to it. It starts tomorrow. Then I got a script from my doctor to go for warm water physical therapy. I found a place in town to go too.
All in all, these past 2 days have been really rough. I am still in pain, but I was able to get out of bed and shower today. That’s a huge thing, sometimes! It takes a lot out of me to shower on bad days.
I woke up this morning feeling as if I never slept at all. I forced myself out of bed and walked my dog. I went and got my Dunkin Donuts 1/2 caf and 1/2 decaf coffee to start my day out right. I was really hoping that would get me going. I did log in for work and started working. The pain got worse and worse. It was in my back, legs, arms and chest. I finally gave up at 5:30 pm CST. I couldn’t take the pain any more. I felt so defeated. I let the stupid pain beat me down. I hate this when it happens. I feel like I have failed myself, my job, and my parents. I live with my parents and usually let them know that I am not feeling well and let my mom know before I laid down. I ended up having to take a Vicodin to stop the pain and all that did was just relax me so that I didn’t feel as bad as I did. When I laid down, my chest was pulsating with pain. It was an odd sensation.
This brings me down so much when it overcomes me to a point that I can not handle it. I tried so hard to not let it beat me down. I was ready to cry. I started getting snippy with the customers on the phone and started feeling really sad and the pain was overwhelming. I couldn’t sit in my chair anymore and do my job. I lost concentration.
I laid down and my mom came and got me for dinner. It was so nice. My baby boy (dog, Ozzie) laid with me. He seems to sense when mommy doesn’t feel well and comes and cuddles with me until I relax. Then he gets down and lays by the bed. He is my rock. He gets me out of bed every day because I know he needs to be walked so he can go potty. If it weren’t for him I would stay in bed all of the time.
I was able to get back on the phones 1 1/2 hours later. So I didn’t miss a tone of work. That is one of the benefits of working from home. I don’t miss as much work. I just miss spurts and can get back on the phones when the pain is manageable.