It never ends, wrote 6/12/10

Life as a Fibromyalgia sufferer never ends.  It keeps going.  I can think that I am having a good day one moment, and the next it all falls apart.  Finished my cup of coffee (1/2 decaf and 1/2 reg), felt good.  My body didn’t hurt, well for the most part.  I have pain every single day, but I have to stop and assess what I can tolerate and what is unbearable.  Today it was bearable.  That was until all hell broke loose.  Stress can just trigger so much in my body and make a chain reaction.  The stress comes on, I get upset, then I tense up.  The tensing causes my body to go into a flair and I feel like I want to jump out of my skin.  I had to take brisk walk this evening on one of my work breaks just so I could get some of the junk off my shoulders.  I have someone in my life that is causing so much stress and every time I think I rid myself of him like the dirty trash he is……he comes back looking like something the cat drug in.  And makes my life a living hell.  And it’s easy to read this and say don’t let the person bother you.  Well he is defaming my character, has effected people’s thoughts about me, has ruined relationships in my life (and has told me that’s what I get for leaving him)….I dare ask what more he could do.  It’s like a loose cannon and I don’t know where he’s lurking.  It’s really scary and really causes me to loose sleep and makes my whole body flair up and creates pain so bad.  Tonight I am having pain radiating down my arms from my shoulders, my lower back hurts and my upper thighs are killing me.  My calves are burning but I will chuck that off to my brisk walk this evening in improper (crocks) shoes.  I didn’t even want to stop to put on gym shoes.  I just shot out the stinking door.  So now I have to take a benedryl in hopes that I sleep it off and I am not too drowsy in the morning.  I have a full day planned.  Here’s to hoping for a pain free day tomorrow.

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